Fears rise high above the shard

Suspicious clouds were seen gathering ominously above the London Shard, Europe's tallest tower, early this morning, shortly after a commercial aircraft was seen trailing green vapour trails high above.

Concerns mount as a delegation of US and UK diplomats were meeting in the tower for the annual conference brunch on missile defence cooperation, discussing the recently announced Ballistic Missile Early Warning System.

Andrew Hogan Chief of UK Anti-Missile Defence Systems, said "A green fog descended around the windows of the highest floors, it was too thick to see through and definitely seemed to have a noxious quality"

Megan Brixton, Officer for Health and Safety at the conference, reassured that "all necessary protection" had been taken to secure ventilation and that emergency gas masks were used to evacuate delegates. No one at the conference was harmed but the welfare of civilians passing the tower at the time cannot be assured.

The Department of Health recommends that if you were in the vicinity of The Shard between 11am and 1pm today, to visit your local medical centre at your earliest convenience.

The possible perpetrators of this chemtrail attack have not been confirmed.

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